Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
never play flip cup with pint glasses
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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