Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
