my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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