But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize