No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
