Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
