was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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