her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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