He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
