Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize