Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
