just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
