Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
