Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Non-Jews are for practice
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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