please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
