David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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