I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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