The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
