normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
