Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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