Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
