sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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