Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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