It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
