Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
