Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
