It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
