sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
