he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
