Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize