Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize