just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize