Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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