I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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