if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
