even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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