I will die if light touches me.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
