A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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