maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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