I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
