i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Someone shattered a urinal.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
