Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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