he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
