you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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