her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize