We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
