is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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