What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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