that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Buhtt sex?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
