Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Say something about gay babies.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
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