around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
