Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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