I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
