Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
