There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
