I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
They took my balls.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
