if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
