I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
