Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
