He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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