he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
