Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize