So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I party with great urgency now.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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