its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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